My Saving Grace.. ♥

Topic #3:  A Heart Surrendered to Christ
With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.
~Isaiah 12:3
I never grew up knowing God. All I knew of Him was that if you believed in Him you went to church, you said grace before you ate, and that’s pretty much it. I had been baptized in the Anglican church when I was a baby but that was basically just a ceremony and piece of paper. My parents didn’t follow the Lord so I never thought of Him.

My family was the typical family on the outside, but on the inside we weren’t. I was sexually abused by my neighbor when I was young. My parents both battled with  addictions. Depression runs on my mom’s side of the family. I grew up in a small town, went to a small school. I was bullied a lot in school by the same kids for 12 years, mostly for being overweight. I didn’t have a lot of friends. In high school I started to get really depressed and began turning to self harm as a way to cope with the depression. I battled that demon for years. Cutting was my escape. It was my addiction.

When I graduated I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I couldn’t find any work right away and was in a very dark place in a very unhealthy, unstable relationship. I was also starting to remember details of my abuse as a kid and trying to work through that. I just couldn’t cope. All I wanted was to die. So I attempted suicide but by God’s grace I failed. When it didn’t work I was desperate. I just wanted to feel better. I just wanted to stop the horrible feelings that I felt inside. I wanted the loneliness to stop. I wanted the pain to go away. I just wanted help.

But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
~Psalm 13:5
I met a new friend soon after my attempt and she happened to be a Christian. She talked to me about God and she shared that she had struggles with cutting and depression as I did. She bought me a bible as well as a Skillet cd and cards of encouragement and told me to give it a try and let her know what I thought. She introduced me to God and told me only He could help heal me. When I got her package I was so curious. Could this be my solution? Could He really help me? I glanced at my bible but still felt so depressed. On October 29, 2010 I cut myself for the last time. That night I cried out to God. I begged Him to save me. I cried out for His help. I said the sinners prayer and let go of the burden I had been struggling with. I finally accepted that I couldn’t do it on my own and that I needed Him. I gave my life to the Lord and accepted His invitation to be my Lord and savior.
Again I ask: Did they stumble so as to fall beyond recovery? Not at all! Rather, because of their transgression, salvation has come.
~Romans 11:11
Almost 3 years to the day and I am still clean from self harm. I have been redeemed! I attended celebrate recovery (a faith based 12 step recovery program) and surrendered my all to Christ. I still have a battle with depression but God has provided medication and His comforting word and promises that He is with me, encouraging me. HE SAVED MY LIFE! I know now that He is with me everyday. I know of His unfailing love. I know that my demons will always haunt me but I also know that I have a bigger and better God on my side fighting the good fight with me and that I’m not all by myself anymore. I am not alone. I was desperate for hope; and that’s when God came into my life and found me, His lost sheep. (Matthew 18:12-14) I no longer live in the dark, instead I live and walk in His light. My past is NOT my future and it does not define who I am. I am a beloved daughter of the King of Kings and I will serve Him for the rest my days. 

The Lord is my strength and my defense ; he has become my salvation.
Psalm 118:14

Dear Father,
I pray today for anyone who is out there suffering. Please Father be their light and guide them into your salvation. Lord, thank you for your perfect, unfailing, unconditional love. Your grace and mercy saves us each and every day. Blessed be Your name as we continue to praise You and Your plans for our lives. You have given us hope and a future and that through You we may do the good things you planned for us. Lord, I pray that You bless my words and speak through me to anyone who needs hope. Praise to You for we are fearfully and wonderfully made in Your image. Thank you for saving us Lord. Thank you for Your sacrifice, Jesus: the savior of the world, so that we may live a life serving You. Blessings and peace to all. In Your glorious name I pray, Amen.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. -Ephesians 2:10 ♥
Raelene ♥

5 thoughts on “My Saving Grace.. ♥

  1. Wow. Raelene, just wow. I had no idea that this had all happened in your past. You truly are inspirational, you have truly accepted God and you have a light that just shines to all!! Thank you for sharing. Hugs and love, friend!!!

    And by the way, I LOVE Skillet!!!

    Kris Danko (OBS Small Group Leader)

  2. All I can say is WOW and thank you for turning to God, he has blessed everyone in this world with a truly beautiful, talented and caring women. God will be there through out your journey, but you know that so will with the Grace of God all of us here who know you and are so blessed to be your friend..<3

  3. Raelene, I am so glad that you had someone that could show you God’s love after all of the terrible things you have endured. Only God’s perfect love can heal all wounds. You have so much to offer and I thank you for sharing your life with us. Know that you have many who will pray for you and with you every day. May you be blessed beyond belief for the rest of your life.

  4. I started on the “Who I am ” page and continued reading backwards to here. Beautiful! ( If I wrote nearly as well as you do I would be able to tell you how much it means to me ) But in the meantime…Thank-you. xoxoxo

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