#IAmNot!

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I have always struggled with my weight. I’ve always been the bigger girl, trying to lose weight to be better, healthier and smaller. Its been one of my biggest areas of struggle. I’ve always been very insecure when it came to the way I looked and I’ve always condemned myself with thoughts like I can’t do this, You’re a failure, You will never lose the weight, Why even bother?

I never thought that I would ever be able to shed the pounds that I so desperately wanted to lose. I tried and tried all these different diet plans. I tried to cut down my portions, and I tried to eat healthy and increase my activity, but it just didn’t seem to work. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to get rid of it.

I finally had a revelation to as why I wasn’t getting anywhere with my weight loss journey. I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. I was doing it to feel better about myself, to prove to those people who always called me fat that I could get skinny, to wear smaller clothes, and to be beautiful..

God simply said to me, Raelene, sweet child, you are beautiful. You don’t have to lose weight in order to see that. I have made you in my image just the way that you are. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. I see you struggling, and I don’t like to see you in so much pain, but you have to learn to see yourself through my eyes. For you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Your body is my temple. Don’t let this world let you think anything different. You are my lovely, beautiful and beloved daughter. I made you the way I did, I made you in my image. The reason you aren’t losing weight is you haven’t discovered the real reasons as to why you should.

That left me thinking, I am looking at this so wrong. I am made in Christ’s image. I am made by a loving God who thinks I am beautiful. I have to find the right reasons to lose weight. I have to do it for my health. I have to learn to see myself through God’s eyes, and then, only then, will I begin to lose the weight. I had to shift my perspective.

I am still battling. I still have weight to lose, I still face issues with the way I look. When I’m shopping and I see a real cute top in a smaller size I still get whispers of condemnation from my accuser such as You will never fit in that, You fail at this, You will never win. But instead of letting those voices win, I instead replace them with promises of God. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

I have always thought thoughts like I am such a failure when I step on the scale, or gain back the five pounds that I struggled so hard to lose, but the truth is, #IAmNot!! I am not a failure. I am not going to let my setbacks keep me from experiencing the joy of the Lord. I am no longer going to listen to the voices of my accuser. Instead I listen to the promises found in God’s precious word. I am going to press on, and keep moving toward my goal!

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:14

Dear Lord, Today, I pray that You will help us to see ourselves through Your eyes. Remind us of the beautiful masterpieces You made us to be. Don’t let our clouded eyes and the lies of our accusers keep us from the beauty found in You. For you have called us to press on toward the goal and to keep fighting. We are precious in Your eyes and You love us. Please help to remind us that we are NOT failures. Our mistakes don’t define us, only Your grace does. Thank you, Father. All the glory and praise goes to YOU! In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen. ♥

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14 thoughts on “#IAmNot!

  1. I identify with your struggle, sister.
    Remember, you are beautiful no matter what you weigh or how you look.
    Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. 🙂

  2. That struck me so close to home! Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I will definitely use your FM thoughts next time I go shopping. Have a blessed weekend!

  3. Awesome job recognizing conviction and pushing away condemnation! I had a hard time distinguishing between the two, and often I would ignore everything. But in this chapter, I realized that if I dont’t stop to listen to the difference, I’m choosing to ignore the spirit as well. Thank you. Adding you OBS sister!

  4. I love your post! There is nothing more uplifting than seeing myself through God’s eyes. “Our mistakes don’t define us, only Your grace does.” What peace that gives me!

  5. Raelene you did a great job on writing this. I, too wrote about my weight this week. Love your perspective and heart about it. Running this race with you. Thanks for sharing. Debbie W. (OBS Facebook Group Leader)

  6. Pingback: FRACTURED IMAGE by Tina Hickman | hastywords

  7. Love the perspective you shared about being beautifully made in Christ. You are beautiful no matter what that little voice whispers to you, don’t ever forget that, my sweet friend!!

    Kris Danko (OBS Small Group Leader)

  8. You wrote this for me. I needed to hear it today. I have been struggling with my weight for years, I lose it and then gain it back plus extra to go with it. I hae been so discouraged with it here lateley so thanks for sharing.

  9. It’s like it is speaking right to me heart. Losing weight for the right reasons. I have lost weight two different times where it was over 50 lbs and both times I gained back more. And now I wonder if I can do it to keep in off for good. I know that the verse ps 139:13-14 has been my favorite verse for quite some time and I am slowly thinking about trying to do it again. Like you said it must be for the right reasons and not just because I know I can or to prove to myself that I can. Oh Lord, I need your help in every way and to even think about embracing the process. Lord show me Your glory-send down Your presence, I want to see Your face….I really need Your perspective.

  10. Another awesome post! I struggle with my weight also because I wanted to fit what “Looked” like happy instead of just claiming my happiness. Now I watch my daughter struggle with her own self image. I am grateful for this study that is touching so many lives and will break the generational chains as well. Thank yoh

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